Still
by Unclear Destiny
Summary: It had been months later that Hijiri realized that, while he'd thanked Tsuzuki, he had done no such thing for Hisoka. The guilt and embarrassment over this is something he carries with him even now, years later. Drabble


Disclaimer: Dont own YnM/DoD or the song Shimmer by Fuel. Kein profits!

A/N: Ffffffffffffffffffff-

You guys can probably tell that I dont like Tsuzuki much, huh? xD Either way, I didnt really like this part about Devils Trill. Im pretty damn sure that it was Hisoka cosplaying Hijiri again that saved Tsuzuki via empathy/Reibaku, if the translation of my book is anything to go by. The You again! Ill get you for this, damnit! vibe that Sagatanasu combined with the smug smirk on Hijiri is what leads me to believe this.

Trollsoka: U Mad? :D

Sagatanasu:

Trollsoka: lolno

This, combined with everything else Hisoka did and not getting thanked once kinda agitates meeverybody is too focused on Tsuzuki to give two shits. XD

Also, dont worry, for those of you who are awaiting the newest chapter of the Memories reboot, I have the latest chapter just about halfway done! Itll be a bigger one because I feel ashamed of Ch.2 and wanna apologize. v.v

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><p><span>Still.<span>

She calls me from the cold, just when I was low, feeling short of stable. We're here and now, but will we ever be again? It's too far away for me to hold, too far away...

Guess I'll let it go.

* * *

><p>It had been years.<p>

Hands seeking out the railing of the bridge he stood on, a small sigh plumed before his lips and swept onward to join the foggy mist ensconcing the area.

It had been a blissful passage of time that swept across him as if he were standing still against the spring runoff tide. Emotions and memories had faded and dulled in resonance, to be replaced by new ones, new experiences and new life.

But still, he couldnt forget those two.

He wasnt sure hed ever be able to.

Theyve probably forgotten all about me. Hijiri thought to himself with a small smile. There was no hurt in the thought, but rather a quiver of comfort because that meant that they, too, were making new memories with new people just like he was. Still, he didnt think hed ever be able to put that pair out of his mind for a moment, never.

The smile upon his face faded, and a hint of unforgotten guilt lashed out behind the greens of his eyes.

I never thanked him He whispered, a grim frown settling around the line of his mouth.

Hed been so infatuated with Tsuzuki, perhaps a small crush led on by the mans immense power and initial sacrifice. It had been so easy to forget the small, serious presence exactly his size and only a little bit thinner that had stuck at the older Shinigamis side, for the most part, like glue. When he wasnt raging at the sweets-loving fiend, Hisoka had been so quiet, so intent that, over Tsuzukis brashness and overflowing voice that it had happened before Hijiri had even realized it.

Guilt, oh boy it had struck him when he realized it, several months approaching a year too late. It chafed at him awkwardly anytime he thought about the blond, embarrassment filled with regret because he knew the chances of ever seeing the pair again were about as small as spying a star to call his own.

That realization had beset him a couple of years ago and the brunet still felt badly about it. Lips thinning a further, Hijiri sighed to himself and reached up to run his hands through his hair, combing it back.

"Then again, He sighed again, the dark feeling in his gut intense. "What exactly do you say to a guy who was cleaved in two (twice, if that horrible arc of blood when Tsuzuki had attacked him at EnmaCho was anything to go by) to save your ass?"

"You wouldnt have to say much," Murmured a soft, cultured voice behind him. "Nothing at all really. That the job is done is well enough."

The brunet startled violently, almost stumbling over the railing that looked out over the bay of the sea, and hurriedly swung around with a sharp gasp.

It was a face right out of his memories, complete with intense gaze and coltish angles that would never grow beyond puberty. Upon seeing the familiar face which looked so much like his own, Minases eyes lit up and a grin so large it threatened to split his face crawled hastily across his lips.

"Hisoka!" He yelped in delight and rushed forward.

"Ah! Get off me, you idiot!"

"Heh heh, sorry"

But there was a hint of a smile playing around the corners of Hisokas eyes and Hijiri knew everything was good until he found his guilt again. Swallowing, the brunet glanced down, eyes determined to find his feet.

"But, really, I-"

"Che, dont worry about insignificant things Minase. I was fine then, I am now." The blond boy mumbled with a hint of embarrassment and turned toward the railing, casting his glance away from the now taller young man and looking instead over the misty silver sprawling out before them. Hijiri watched the delicate looking male taste his lips and realized that he could smell rain on the fog-heavy air.

"Are you sure its okay?"  
>"What did I just say, Minase? Dont-"<p>

The brunet bit his lip slightly as the youthful looking Shinigami finally turned to face him proper, but he saw nothing negative in Hisokas eyes.

No accusing glare, no hurt, only the embarrassment that hed already sensed, combined with some impatience.

"Dont worry about it okay?" Hisoka continued, his voice softer this time as the frustration seeped from the line of his shoulders.

As that frustration went away, Hijiri found himself relaxing as well and a smile finally lit up his face again. He grinned down at the immortal boy, fondness warming his gaze.

"Okay. Thanks, Hisoka."

To the brunets enjoyment, the blond flushed a little around the ears and mumbled something that approached No problem. Worries that had burdened him for years finally alleviated, the violinist breathed the wet air in deep and shut his eyes for a moment to savour the lightened load, then turned toward the sea to savour instead the feeling of companionship that lingered between them.

Hisoka wouldnt be here forever, Hijiri thought to himself as he moved closer to the blond and found with surprise that the other had returned the sentiment with a shyness that was endearing, but for now it soothed his guilt and kept him warm.

It would probably keep him warm for a good many years to come.


End file.
